Out of Control

Dear Makaia,

I am writing you this letter from our hotel room while I watch you nap next to me. This last month has turned your world upside down and I am praying that God will finally put us in our own home by this time next week (that would be 2 days before Christmas.) This is not the holiday season that I had envisioned and that makes me SO terribly sad! You are at an age (almost 3) that you really understand what is coming up, and I had so many amazing Christmas things planned for you that will now have to wait until next year. You, Daddy, and I are all having a tough time with this transition and, sweetheart, we have already made a promise that next year will be different! You will be waking up in your own room, in our own home on Christmas, with a beautiful tree, lots of decorations, and holiday traditions. We will not put you in your carseat as we bounce from one location to the next.


We moved out of our rental home the day before Thanksgiving (the only home you have ever known) and were supposed to be in to the new house. We have since found ourselves homeless, while we wait, and wait, and wait to have the deal close. Buying a house has been the most stressful thing we have ever done and the mortgage industry is so ridiculous right now. I'd like to say that you have been a gem through all of this, but then I would be lying. At first you were brilliant, while you watched us put all of the things you know in boxes and (literally) watched them being carted off on trucks to storage. I can't imagine how tough that was for you, especially since you were largely ignored for the better part of a week so Daddy and I could get it all done. We also left behind our neighbors that you love so much. Don and Susan even came to get you from next door to feed you while we packed. We will forever miss your walks around that street! You had your little routine and all the neighbors loved coming out to see you on our walks! Amy said she keeps thinking we will re-appear and is sad when she realizes we won't be living across the street anymore.

You will notice that there are no photos in this letter...Mommy left the camera connection cord in a box and it's deep into the storage container so we won't be seeing it again until we get our belongings back.

Let me recap for you where we have been:

November 24th: Finished moving out of the house. You and I drive to Orange County while Daddy spends the night on the wood floor so he can finish cleaning the place.

November 25th: Thanksgiving with the Roux family in OC

November 26th: make the long drive to Lemoore. Pull up to Aunt Heidi & Uncle Kyle's new house at the same time they drive up in the moving van. They ask us to help unload (you can imagine our excitement after spending several, tiring days moving ourselves...with a toddler at our ankles.) For a split second, we consider turning around, but think better of our actions.

November 27th: Put you in the carseat again for another trek to the middle of nowhere for my cousin's wedding. "Makaia, please be a good girl for this hour-long car ride." Followed by, "Makaia, please sit still for this ceremony" and "please sit still and eat your meal at the table." By the 3rd one, you were pretty much ready to say, "F&$% this! I want to dance, run, scream, play, and not listen to a single thing you are saying to me!" That ordeal was followed by another hour-long car ride back with only 1 ounce of scenery...the Corcoran State Prison outside our car window.

November 28th: We say our good-bye's to Daddy as he goes home to San Diego to work (while living in a hotel) and you and I settle in to Aunt Heidi's for the week with no internet or TV, and Freezing cold temperatures. Plus, it's Lemoore! One morning we went outside and you said, "phew, Mommy what that smell?" Me: "That's moo-moos sweetheart. That's what a bunch of moo-moos smell like. Welcome to the Central Valley, lovebug!" Grandma set up princess sheets at Heidi's to make you feel comfortable in your ever-changing surroundings. At one point, you take your crayons (don't worry, Mommy only buys the washable ones) and use them on Heidi's new walls, carpet, and TV. You're a little artist with a naughty streak! We go one town over just so we can step foot in a Target. On the way there I see a billboard that says "Homelessness is Real!" I am laughing. Darn right it is!

December 3rd: We bolt Lemoore in search of civilization and head to Grandma and Grandpa's in Fresno. You spend the next week terrorizing the dogs and wreaking havoc at every turn. You are missing Daddy and he is missing us. I am wondering when this nightmare is going to end. We find a great park there and go 3 days in a row. They even had ducks that we got to feed.

December 10th: pack up the car (that we are living out of...sooo not easy to do with you.) Drive to Orange County. By the way, the car is so full that I have to take things out to even get you in your seat! We FINALLY get to see Daddy again after 2 weeks. We stay at Papa Pat and Gamma Gayle's for the weekend.

December 12th: Head to San Diego, where the temps are nearing 90! in December. Ahhh, it's good to be home in the sun! We spend the night at the Sauls' house (Thanks again to Dan, Melinda, Olivia, and baby Lucas for taking in the stranded.) You have a blast playing with Olivia, and for the first time in weeks, I don't have to hover over you because their house is totally kid-proof.

December 13th: Check into the hotel so Daddy can work. We love being together and we get to have our own little space. I have taken you to all your favorite spots (SeaWorld, etc.) and you went back to your dance class that you love. Your behavior has gotten better just being at "home" in San Diego. This past week we also went to the new house, and you are already comfy there! Spent one more weekend in OC this past week and now we are back in the hotel for a few days before (fingers crossed) we can move in to the house. This is the last move we will make for a looong time!


You will be 3 in two months and we've heard it's a tough age. Now we believe it! You are fighting for COMPLETE control of yourself and all things pertaining to you. Your father and I stand back and can't believe that such a tiny person can be so smart and defiant! Also, from the moment we moved out of our house, your rare potty accidents have turned into into a much more frequent thing. As in several times a day. We know that things have been strange for you so we have dug deep to find some extra patience. We all have breaking points and there have been moments lately when I don't know if I can make it through one more tantrum! Then I lie in bed hours later thinking about how fast you are growing up and your sweet/great moments roll through my thoughts. Then I feel bad about losing my mind over your tantrum.

I hate to make a list of "negatives" but at this point, the list is too hard to ignore. The "positive" ship has sunk this month! Maybe Santa will bring it back to me :)

We love you sweetheart! Thanks for bearing with your folks during such chaos.
Mommy

Halloween

My favorite phrase this month...

Me: "I love you pumpkin", or "Hi pumpkin"

Makaia: "I not pumpkin, I'm Makaia!"

Trick or Treating

Going over the loot, and choosing what she wants. This was much better than when we started out that night....she had some trouble understanding why we couldn't eat the treats after each house.

Our pumpkins

October 2010

Dear Makaia,

Every time I write you a letter, I always seem to want to start off with how much you are changing! It's sounds redundant, but it is true. The last few months, I have been cherishing all your little moments, wanting to bottle them up and save them. Some days, you drive me so bananas that I don't know what to do, and other days I get tears in my eyes just watching how sweet you can be. Several weeks ago, you started telling me, "Thank you for dinner, Mommy." I especially love how you get giddy when you have a present for me (a leaf, rock, or a picture you colored just for me.) You have this amazing ability to melt my heart in a single instant.

One night, Daddy went to the store and you took a spill in the hallway. You wanted Daddy to help you up (you always want the person who is not there!) When I explained that he'd be right back, I was able to calm you down, you got into the shower like normal and let me bathe you. I got you out and started to put the towel around you when suddenly you heard Daddy come home. You started crying again and immediately went (naked and wet) into the hallway, then proceeded to lay down in the exact spot that you fell on 20 minutes prior, until Daddy could get you...just like you originally wanted. Nobody will ever say that you aren't determined. You never lose sight of your goal! Much to the dismay of your exhausted parents.

Music class with your Halloween costume on

You picked out your costume all on your own this year!

I am pleased to announce that you are completely diaper free, even for naps! It's been a process and I am so glad potty training is over!!! You are very good at it, and rarely have accidents. The poo-poo thing was a tough sell for you! We offered up expensive toys, candy, you name it, with no results. I would be in the store with you and showing you toys in exchange for you doing the deed. You would just put the toy back on the shelf and say "no thank you, I don't want go poo-poo." It got to the point where everywhere we went you would point out all the things you could get "if just go poo-poo in potty. that's all. yeah." So, then I would bring out the broken record and make my "poo-poo speech" and offer to buy it. Your reply: "NO"
Fortunately (or unfortunately) you got a severe case of constipation which resulted in a trip to the doctor (more on that later) and some uncomfortable treatments that served up some major toddler drama around here. The one bright side is that you decided that the potty isn't so bad and you haven't worn a diaper since.

Now for that doctor's visit. You are a very healthy kid so you are rarely taken there. In fact, the last time you were there was almost a year ago. I was shocked when we pulled into the parking lot and you suddenly started crying. You are extremely perceptive, but I was really surprised that you knew where we were. So getting you out of the car was pleasant (not) and the second we stepped foot in the office, you started screaming, "I DON'T WANNA GO DOCTOR!" and the crying never really stopped from that point. I immediately thought two things: Is this really happening to me right now, and this day has the potential to go down as one of the worst ever. I then apologized (through your screaming) to everyone in the waiting room, who all gave me heartfelt looks that told me I wasn't the only one this has ever happened to. Once we walked into the exam room and you saw Dr. Hansen waiting for us. Oh boy! The screaming started up again and you threw your head back near the door frame and came within inches of needing stitches. Then you put your hands up blocking our entry through the doorway.
Dr. Hansen: "She's so excited to see me today!"
Me: "Oh yeah, she's thrilled to be here."

We got through the visit (although, I'm still not certain how) and survived. Until the next great adventure!

With Aunt Heidi at the beach

Every morning you want to go to the beach to build sandcastles. One weekend, it was raining but we went anyway so Daddy could check out the surf. When we got there, we didn't have the heart to tell you that there would be no sandcastle building that day. So...we all bundled up and sat there for 30 minutes (in the rain) so you could build your sandcastles.

You are LOVING your ballet and tap class! You are so girly and love wearing your tu-tu! All the parents are amazed at how you walk on your toes all the time. Your teacher jokes that it takes years of training for a ballerina to get that kind of toe-point. I am just glad you enjoy it so much and love seeing you smile. When Daddy gets home from work, you like showing him all of your moves that you did in class that day. It is so cute!

You refuse to let me help you into the car. You like doing everything by yourself.

Dancing

Practicing your tip-toes

My petite little cupcake

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

You have been boycotting baths lately. You only want to take showers. You seem to love having the water fall on your head. You also are afraid of the drain when the tub is full, but not while in the shower. This makes no sense to your father and I, but we go along with your ever-changing requests.

You and Quack-Quack

For awhile, you wouldn't go anywhere without "Quack-Quack" (a gift from our friend Mike and his Mom.) You still love him but have been favoring your blue Care Bear and Mickey Mouse lately. Some of my favorite moments are when you wake up in the morning, grab your "flavor-of-the-month" stuffed animal and crawl into bed with me to watch Sesame Street. Your curly hair is all disheveled and you look so haggard, but happy. You always say the funniest stuff in the morning. The other day you looked at me with wide eyes as I was waking up and said, excitedly, "I'm ready go Sea World." Followed by the most adorable grin.

Leave it to you, instead of playing with the instruments at music class, you organize them by shape/color instead.

Sea World is one of your favorite places on Earth. They have a dolphin show that you have pretty much memorized and you try to put on your own performance at home. The dolphins are your favorite, as well as the penguins.

Eating yummy ableskivers with Daddy in Solvang

In your pink princess dress at a friend's wedding

You love to read

A cute picture of Daddy giving his princess a flower

For the first time since you were born, I left you alone with Daddy for 3 days while I traveled up to Lemoore to help Aunt Heidi. I would call in for reports and the two of you seemed to have a lot of fun. You pretty much got away with everything that weekend (isn't that what Daddies are for?) and the hammer fell pretty hard when the sheriff (me) returned to town. Daddy was pretty wiped out from the whole thing!

Happy family of 3. Well...happy parents and a kiddo who was forced to pose for a picture she didn't want to be in.

We love you sweetheart and are so proud of you!

Love, Mommy

This video will show you how you walk on your toes!

Flasher

So, the backstory on this picture: I left Makaia (fully clothed) and went in the kitchen for no more than 5 minutes to start dinner. She kept saying, "I want to go swimming, Mommy. I want to go swimming, Mommy." I came out to tell her that we couldn't go right then and I found her like this. She had taken off her clothes and shoes then tried to put my swimsuit on.

Vacation

At the end of July, we spent a week with my parents in Fresno then they took all of us to Tahoe for a week. It was so nice to get away and relax (and have lots of extra hands to entertain Makaia!) One of our favorite things was going to Clovis Lakes water park. Sorry, didn't take the camera with us. Next time I will! I hadn't been there since high school so it was fun to take John and Makaia couldn't get enough of the water slides and kiddie area. We overheard some people talking about how cute that tiny little girl was riding the slides. That made us laugh. Tahoe was gorgeous and so relaxing!

Playing paddle ball with Uncle Kyle

Hiking with Mama and Daddy

My parents took us to an awesome dinner at Sunnyside restaurant

With Gamma and Papa

John, Sabrina, Makaia

Stopping to play some catch with the boys

The "fish" leaning over to touch the water...again!

I want to touch water Mama!

With Gamma and Papa in the river. Stopped our raft for a swim.

After 2 solid weeks of being around family, Makaia was pretty bummed the week we returned home. No Uncle Kyle to teach us silly words and funny faces, no Aunt Heidi to cook with, no Pushover-Papa (that's Grandpa's new name) to play with, no Gamma to hug, no doggies to tease, and Daddy is back at work. "I'm stuck with Mom." "Makaia, someday, you will miss the days when it was just me and you kiddo. Until we see them all again, we will just watch all the videos we took and it will feel like we are on vacation all over again."

Heidi, Sabrina, and our Mom

The river was FREEZING but guess who didn't care!

Grandpa helping us lean over the raft

Rafting down the river was easily everyone's favorite activity of the week!

Having a chocolate ice cream cone with Great Grandma

Helping Grandma and Grandpa drive the boat.

Once upon a time this was Mama's baby. Until Makaia entered the world and Hana began to hate our house. Do you think Hana will ever want to come back and live with us again? Hmmm...probably not. I think she likes Grandma best now, and I also think Grandma won't give her up.

Catching up

Makaia's 1st haircut

We love bubbles!

Blowing bubbles at the park with Nana

Makaia's face everytime she gets into a swing.

Nana and Paul took us to lunch. We had so much fun with them. Makaia even sat for over an hour like a good little girl, napkin in her lap, at the restaurant! Miracles do happen :)

Devouring an ice cream on a hot day

My friend Holly and her family came to SD for a visit:)

Makaia and Julia

Makaia loves playing in the sand. We hit the beach as a family every weekend.

Our "treat" after naptime. Cuddled up with some chocolate milk and a video.

With Mommy at the waterpark

Makaia at the waterpark with friends, Diana and Marissa

Has it really been 2+ months since I've posted on the blog? Lots going on here! I've been trying to make the most of our summer and doing fun things with Makaia everyday, which has left me with a feeling that I should toss the computer, TV, and maybe the cellphone in the trash. I'm realizing how fast she is growing up and want to soak up every moment with her before we gear up to having more kids. We are also in the middle of buying our first house in SD. It's a new build so there is lots of extra stuff involved. Makaia is doing great though, so I wanted to catch you up on the latest.

Potty training is (almost) a complete success. We run errands now without diapers (I'm getting brave!), and in my tired state I have twice forgotten to put a diaper on for naptime. Thank God she held it! She even gets out of the pool and tells me she needs to go! So proud off her. Ooopsy accidents happen every so often, the latest on an errand with Daddy last night. Is it bad that I'm secretly happy that it happened to him? Sorry honey, I love you, welcome to my everyday world!

We are not certain how it happened, because we have purposely kept the concept out of the house, but the word "Princess" and it's entire world has found its way into our home. Don't get me wrong, Princesses are great, but we wanted her to find her own way and decide which things she enjoys. Now that the enchanted world is here, it has been pretty amusing for John and I to see her whole world being shaped by the princess theme. So, being the dutiful parents we are, we broke down and bought the one video she wanted. Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses is now an everyday fixture on our post-nap routine. She loves princess dresses, princess dolls, princess everything. Just today, I went to put her hair in pigtails and she pulled them out saying she wanted the "princess hair." After some fast thinking, I realized that it translated into a ponytail and a bow.

Luckily, she is still well-rounded and continues to play with other toys that don't involve a princess. She loves matchbox cars, trains, coloring, painting, and reading. I have been taking a lot of home movies because she loves to watch herself, but I haven't figured out how to transfer those to the computer.

Her personality has shifted over slightly (just since my last post) to the "terrible 2's." I am now realizing why there is such a term and that it must have come from very experienced parents. For the most part, she is still well behaved compared to most kids. She just saves her neurotic moments for her Mother and Father. Patience is a virtue and it has been running thin in our house! With me being home, I can stay on top of her behavior, but she still tests me often. She likes to tell me "You in tuble" (trouble) and "You in time-out, Mommy" Oh really? I did get a peaceful 5 minutes to myself last month, putting away laundry in my "time-out." I was sad that my time-out was over so quickly.

She also says "I don't like kisses Mommy" and when I give them to her she needs a towel so she can wipe it off. She is very determined and will not quit until something is done just how she wants it.

September will start a very busy fall for us. Makaia has no fear around water and absolutely loves to swim so she is starting lessons twice a week. We also start a ballet/tap class and a music class. If you are counting, that is 4 days a week that we have an activity. Whew! Her days gets lighter just in time for us to move to the new house, which is scheduled for Thanksgiving week.

Video of Makaia on the water slides with her best girls.

One more thing...

Dear Makaia,
Just a few additions to the letter I wrote this week. After I posted the letter, we put you to bed and you had some trouble going to sleep. You called me in to take a hair off your finger ("eww, gose" ie. gross) , say milkjuice (normally 2 words but at nighttime you just make it into one word), and the 3rd time I walked in, you just gave me a smirk that said, "I don't plan on falling asleep anytime soon." So, I resigned to threatning you by turning out the light and pretending to leave the room. As I was standing in the hallway, expecting to hear you get serious about going to sleep, you shout out, "HEY YOU! Why'd you do dat?" So, I am standing in the hallway, wanting to get back to my glass of wine that I clearly deserve, and I burst out laughing at the sound of your voice. "Hey you?" Where did you learn that from? You are too funny!

This is some hummus that you were supposed to dip your crackers in. You decided you were not hungry so you spread the hummus over your arms and told me it was "losun" (lotion.)

I also forgot to mention another of your new favorite statements. Sometimes, I will tell you to do something and you reply with, "I not shir."
Mommy: Makaia, please walk to the door so we can leave.
You: No, I not shir
Mommy: You're not sure? Well, Mommy is sure and we are putting on our shoes, and leaving RIGHT NOW.

Needless to say, getting you to do anything that you're "not shir" about each day is an effort all on its own.

I am sure I will have more funny stories to share very soon.
Love you,
Mommy